Soccer player

Football player Hulk is facing a 12-game ban for ‘physical abuse’ during a game… The physical abuse of kicking a guy in the nuts

[Translation] – Atletico received with perplexity the news that the athlete Hulk will be judged by the STJD, due to the candidacy that occurred during the match against Coritiba, for the 3rd round of the Brazilian championship.

And here is the part in question:

Phew. It’s a square kick to the dick. There’s no way to defend that one, it’s winding up and tickling the balls with your cleats. Now, that might not be the biggest dick kick the Hulk has done lately – figuratively speaking here.

Oh and she just gave birth to their child. Hell of a guy all around here. But now he faces a 12-game ban for that kick which was sort of just a yellow card. (h/t The Sun)

Mundo Deportivo claim Hulk will be on ‘trial’ next week for ‘physical abuse’.

And he could be hit with a gigantic ban ranging from four to 12 games.

But a more lenient sentence could see Hulk banned for three games, the equivalent of a direct red card.

I love how dramatically it all sounds. On trial, physical abuse and the fact that he is facing something called the Superior Court of Sports Justice. That’s how you know it’s serious. He is not sitting around waiting for a call from the commissioner or going to the office. Oh no, it’s the Superior Court of Sports Justice. It’s physical abuse, which actually, yeah, it’s true. But trial? He’s just going to a suspension hearing, guys.

Add to that the fact that the guy has the singular name Hulk and it’s a perfect story. Wondering what his ex-wife thinks of all this? Somehow I think she’s smiling.

Athletes are going to have to stop kicking guys in the dick. This is frowned upon.